they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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