I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
