dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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