you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
