I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
