Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
