he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
