If i come over, it means nothing
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
