i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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