you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
