So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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