Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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