I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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