the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
