I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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