If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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