is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
