I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
