strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
