i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
