Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
