My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
