i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
