wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
