Your mouth is God's brothel.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
