i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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