The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
