i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize