He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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