No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize