Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
