adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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