It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
