you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
