To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
