Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
