Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
