Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
