Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just pee around me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
