That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.