If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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