Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
