Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .

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  (330): I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia . http://tfl.nu/fovz
  Replies (12) Good night (1417) Bad night (2217)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits

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  (707): I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits http://tfl.nu/21ol
  Replies (24) Good night (1828) Bad night (1011)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

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  (662): My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room. http://tfl.nu/yex2
  Replies (5) Good night (1507) Bad night (780)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.

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  (813): The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp. http://tfl.nu/6snw
  Replies (22) Good night (3022) Bad night (1050)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup

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  (508): i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup http://tfl.nu/58kh
  Replies (11) Good night (1051) Bad night (4397)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.

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  (860): So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this. http://tfl.nu/j4ab
  Replies (5) Good night (4668) Bad night (829)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five

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  (403): On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five http://tfl.nu/a3rp
  Replies (4) Good night (2378) Bad night (755)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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  (630): Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week. http://tfl.nu/dxsu
  Replies (5) Good night (2972) Bad night (1442)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

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  (914): Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl" http://tfl.nu/cqzd
  Replies (12) Good night (2427) Bad night (1177)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.

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  (713): Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day. http://tfl.nu/o38r
  Replies (4) Good night (1957) Bad night (702)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned

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  (508): Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned http://tfl.nu/z9a2
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (1786)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW

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  (734): my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW http://tfl.nu/rle5
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm

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  (515): After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm http://tfl.nu/0xl4
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do u remember buying that

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo

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  (732): Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog (814): Do u remember buying that (732): I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo http://tfl.nu/x02b
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (364)

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