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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?

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• (818): View more from California

  I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.

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• (347): View more from New York

  how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.

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