Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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