Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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