i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
