remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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