I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
