Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize