are you so shy because you have an std?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
