Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
