I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
this is an emotional support booty call
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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