I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
