I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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