addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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