It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
