you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
