I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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