batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize