I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize