New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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