We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
